HATE and FORGIVE

Today is souls day, it is the only time that I and my sister have a great time to travel in our hometown where our late father and brother buried in the Cemetery of Koronadal City. 

When we arrived in the said city, we went first to the cemetery  we ask someone to clean the grave. After an hour that we stayed in the said place, we went in  KCC mall, to take our late  breakfast., then we  visit our friend Lilia. We actually plan to go home after visiting her, but we receive message from our oldest brother that he is on his way to Marbel.  So we decided to go back in KCC Mall, and  wait for him.

While we are walking within the premises, I notice a familiar face  and when I looked at him, I actually felt unusual.  My hatred comes up, I cant understand my feeling that time, but, I felt my heart heart wants to burst out, but thank God I controlled myself as I am afraid to make an scandal inside the mall.  Well, I  and my sister, followed him actually, and he noticed it, and when he look at me, I angrily look him.  I really want to go to him and I plan to confront him, but I decided to stay calm.  

While taken our snacks in one of the fast food, I felt uncomfortable,  I really felt the hate inside.  I want to confront him. I want  him to know how I hated him.  While I shared it with my sister, what I felt.  I secretly ask God in my heart, why I felt this way? How I can forgive the guy, who become the instrument of my xh and even the woman involved in FRAMING  me up which is I considered them all the HORRORS in my NIGHTMARES in my past.

Sometimes, if I think and imagine my past, I felt very which I thought, I had already forgive those who caused my pain and failure.  Observing my inner heart, that time, I really want to hear some answer if I do need to forget and forgive him as I know myself that I had already move on.  It was such an answer from those fourteen years, i thought, wishing that someday, I gonna meet that guy to tell him how badly he is.  Too sad, wasn't able to  punch or strike him, which my left head dictate.  In my right head said, so what, it is a long time ago vilma.  

Luckily, while I and my sister decided to go in the comfort room upstairs, I saw again that familiar face, This time, I said into myself, Yes!! this is my opportunity to confront this guy.  I went straightly to him and asked his name for confirmation. and  I am not wrong he is the guy my xhubby friend which had been use to FRAMED me up in the situation they made against me. I used to introduce my name unto him, but, he used not to know me.or  he was acting that he don't know me neither. I told my name, then I said in vernacular "tung imo amigo nabuang na, mayo ikaw wala pa nabuang" in English, your friend is already insane, "good for you because your still not getting insane" and I walked out straughtly.  I know he was shocked of the event I made.  I did the right decision, why?because I want him to know and understand the effect of their mistakes they made 14 years ago against me.  I just only want him to know that there are someone who hates him and I need to renounce it infront of him, so that I can forgive him.  Of course, I believe it happened because of the reason that it is time for me to FORGIVE the people who HURT me for a long time ago.  I felt relieve anyways!! I felt the freedom because after all, the hate that I felt gone and my heart is ready to FORGIVE  and FORGET them.  Only God can do miracle in every human heart.

Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.Colossians 3:13 | NIV |

My Prayer:
Dear God, please help me to forgive those people who become the instrument of my failures, cover my heart with love so I know how to love and pray those who hurt me. Thank you father God for the opportunity to met that person whom I hated, and expose to him the reality of their wrong doings, may you open his heart to understand the consequence they made and he shall be able to ask forgiveness unto you. Give us peace in our heart that the time we meet again, love and mercy shall cover my heart. In Jesus name.  Amen.

Know the gift of life/

     We always say that life is a gift. The gift which we shall be able to know and discover in every stage of our life.  

      One time when I and my daughter talk about life, She asked a question, “ Mum, how did you  survived of my attitude? How did you handle everything, despite of those negativity of my emotions which resulted of our quarrels and misunderstanding?  Those questions makes me smile, I took her hands and hug her.  And told her all about, I answered her that “Only God’s grace and the wisdom of love, understanding and patience is my weapon when we are both in the presence of uncontrolled circumstances.  I actually explained to her, that I got surprise of my respond towards her, and told her that every moment we had a misunderstanding; I must to challenge myself whatever the difficulties I faced and learned from it.  I told her that our life is not depended of what we have or of who we are, it is depends of God’s desire and purpose He designed in our life. 

In our early stage of our existence is an experimental of our beings, how we shall be able to response with our emotions which is the most sensitive part of our feelings that we need to control. 

     Our small talks reminded me how crucial the future of our siblings is? if you have no awareness of  what she feels, then the future shall hold the effectiveness of the emotion.

The reality of our existence in the frenzied world, had been complicated because of our heart, desires.  I thank God for giving me the opportunity to know His desires and the Gift of Life being blessing I receive in my entire life.

     I thank God, for giving me the opportunity to enjoy the gift of life.  Our gracious beloved God is the source of everything, in financies and our relationship to our beloved friends, family and most specially our spiritual favour from above.

..with the temptation

My journey help me to stand as a strong woman.  I realized that my life was tested  by different phase of a giant of circumstances. 

Fourteen years of my separation, I tried to figure out the impact of those challenging part  in my early marriage I consider my marriage as a great revelation of who and what I am today,   I actually consider my marriage as a winning piece in my journey in the sense that God taught me  to trust everything in Him despite of failures and struggles of my relationship with my love ones.

I may not know why it happen to me that before, but God had given me the wisdom, to understand why it  happened.  I had the opportunity to understand that life is always be a battle. Failure is one of the battle that I experienced, I FAILED in my marriage life which I question God and seek His answer before. It is not sin to question God, but it is a way to ask God it purpose why I should need to experienced it.  

Years passing by and new years come, I slowly understand that our God is great!  I actually appreciate Him, because of His tenderheartedness, His truly a loving and merciful father.   I experience His presence. His love and care in the midst of my battle and I realized that  He won my battle. 

Temptation, No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it. 1 Corinthians 10:13

I am human, I need someone to be with, just to shared my losing piece, I mean, to share my  failure that caused me so much pain. And then, someone came along the road, to make it short, I have been tempted and made sin against God.  When I had made my decision to had a relationship with other man after my separation with my husband, I remembered my first tears, the most painful and sinful tears I had done in my life, the result of  repeated mistakes I've done. It is actually one way of showing that I felt too tired in my life.  But God never gave up on me.  He tried to reached me, He open my eyes with the truth, that He loves me so much. God enlightened my mind and my heart,  God wants me to know that He always care of me.  

I believe and I always been praying that God shall shield my heart with His tender kindness love and comfort me with His faithful promise..that soon,the person that I prayed for and love for is not a temptation but His promised that I patiently wait.

My prayer.. 

Dear God, thank you so much for guiding my life, for never gave up on me.  Thank you for your great love as you make me complete everyday.  Thank you for your faithful promised that I hold on.  In Jesus name.  Amen.

A Maiden's Testimony's Come Back 2016

I almost forgot my other world, I am too lazy to put my hand into the keys, specially if my brain is nonfunctional.  But since, I myself  miss my virtual home, I decided to open and start my fingers to work according of what my mind say.  Well, this might be a privilege again to press the button of my head, so that the clogged blood shall run in my vein and help to touch my Adrenalin and my brain shall be able to function and help me to think whatsoever!!

I was been inspired by my best pal to write and she encouraged me to write my own story.  She is my mentor, one of the most witty , pretty and friendly blogger back in 2009.

One reason I decided to hiatus the maidens testimony, because of my time, i cannot manage it anymore, second, i felt discourage because  of my grammar, third, I am afraid to criticize.

Anyways, God wants us to develop our skills and to share our talents with other.  Maybe, I have the skills in writing,but what I need is to develop it, practice it until it will makes it perfect.

I hope that you shall enjoy your time by stopping and reading A Maiden's Testimony.!

Psalm 31:24 :  "BE STRONG, AND LET YOUR HEART TAKE COURAGE, ALL WHO WAIT FOR THE LORD!"