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Monday, October 31, 2016

HATE and FORGIVE

Today is souls day, it is the only time that I and my sister have a great time to travel in our hometown where our late father and brother buried in the Cemetery of Koronadal City. 

When we arrived in the said city, we went first to the cemetery  we ask someone to clean the grave. After an hour that we stayed in the said place, we went in  KCC mall, to take our late  breakfast., then we  visit our friend Lilia. We actually plan to go home after visiting her, but we receive message from our oldest brother that he is on his way to Marbel.  So we decided to go back in KCC Mall, and  wait for him.

While we are walking within the premises, I notice a familiar face  and when I looked at him, I actually felt unusual.  My hatred comes up, I cant understand my feeling that time, but, I felt my heart heart wants to burst out, but thank God I controlled myself as I am afraid to make an scandal inside the mall.  Well, I  and my sister, followed him actually, and he noticed it, and when he look at me, I angrily look him.  I really want to go to him and I plan to confront him, but I decided to stay calm.  

While taken our snacks in one of the fast food, I felt uncomfortable,  I really felt the hate inside.  I want to confront him. I want  him to know how I hated him.  While I shared it with my sister, what I felt.  I secretly ask God in my heart, why I felt this way? How I can forgive the guy, who become the instrument of my xh and even the woman involved in FRAMING  me up which is I considered them all the HORRORS in my NIGHTMARES in my past.

Sometimes, if I think and imagine my past, I felt very which I thought, I had already forgive those who caused my pain and failure.  Observing my inner heart, that time, I really want to hear some answer if I do need to forget and forgive him as I know myself that I had already move on.  It was such an answer from those fourteen years, i thought, wishing that someday, I gonna meet that guy to tell him how badly he is.  Too sad, wasn't able to  punch or strike him, which my left head dictate.  In my right head said, so what, it is a long time ago vilma.  

Luckily, while I and my sister decided to go in the comfort room upstairs, I saw again that familiar face, This time, I said into myself, Yes!! this is my opportunity to confront this guy.  I went straightly to him and asked his name for confirmation. and  I am not wrong he is the guy my xhubby friend which had been use to FRAMED me up in the situation they made against me. I used to introduce my name unto him, but, he used not to know me.or  he was acting that he don't know me neither. I told my name, then I said in vernacular "tung imo amigo nabuang na, mayo ikaw wala pa nabuang" in English, your friend is already insane, "good for you because your still not getting insane" and I walked out straughtly.  I know he was shocked of the event I made.  I did the right decision, why?because I want him to know and understand the effect of their mistakes they made 14 years ago against me.  I just only want him to know that there are someone who hates him and I need to renounce it infront of him, so that I can forgive him.  Of course, I believe it happened because of the reason that it is time for me to FORGIVE the people who HURT me for a long time ago.  I felt relieve anyways!! I felt the freedom because after all, the hate that I felt gone and my heart is ready to FORGIVE  and FORGET them.  Only God can do miracle in every human heart.

Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.Colossians 3:13 | NIV |

My Prayer:
Dear God, please help me to forgive those people who become the instrument of my failures, cover my heart with love so I know how to love and pray those who hurt me. Thank you father God for the opportunity to met that person whom I hated, and expose to him the reality of their wrong doings, may you open his heart to understand the consequence they made and he shall be able to ask forgiveness unto you. Give us peace in our heart that the time we meet again, love and mercy shall cover my heart. In Jesus name.  Amen.

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